Navigating Life’s Crunchy and Mushy Moments: A Week in the Life of Asher Perlman

Life has a funny way of mixing the mundane with the unexpected, much like a good meal balances flavors and textures. Asher Perlman, a talented writer for The Late Show With Stephen Colbert and an accomplished New Yorker cartoonist, provides a window into his world, blending humor, introspection, and an unapologetic love for snacks into a narrative that is both relatable and uniquely his own.

A Milk-Driven Morning Routine

Every day starts with 52 ounces of milk. Yes, you read that right. Perlman, in what he calls his “Vulnerable Era,” doesn’t shy away from the truth — even if that truth involves an almost comical amount of dairy consumption. This daily ritual sets the tone for the rest of his day, providing a grounding force amid the chaos of creative deadlines and cartoon submissions.

His morning routine is a testament to the balance he strives for in life: a few minutes of meditation, some morning pages inspired by Julia Cameron, and a shot of energy (courtesy of a Celsius energy drink). It’s a mix of calm and chaos, much like his favorite snacks that swing between the mushy and crunchy — think bananas paired with vegan snickerdoodles and Lesser Evil Power Curls.

Creative Hiatus: A Time for Snacks and Cartoons

During a two-week hiatus from The Late Show, Perlman dives headfirst into his passion for cartooning. It’s a period marked by intense creativity, interspersed with walks with his dogs, Maya and Louis, and lunches with his wife, Nikki. His love for textures — both in food and life — is evident in his choice of meals, like the AVEC egg sandwich from Ciao, Gloria, a delightful blend of mushy and crunchy.

A Detour into Quarantine: When Life Gives You Lemons (or COVID)

Perlman’s well-planned week takes a turn when he tests positive for COVID. Suddenly, his meticulously curated diet of creative outings and exciting meals is replaced with boxed cereal and Just Salad delivery. Yet, even in quarantine, his humor shines through. Instead of wallowing, he imagines the meals he would have had — like a “Superiority Boat” at Superiority Burger or a shared dinner at Public Records with his wife.

Reflections on an Aspirational Avatar

As Perlman wraps up his Grub Street Diet, he acknowledges the irony of his journey. Despite his initial vow to avoid creating a fictional version of himself, the circumstances force him to live through an “aspirational Asher avatar.” Yet, this avatar isn’t entirely fictional. It’s a reflection of his hopes, his humor, and his ability to find meaning in even the most unexpected of circumstances.

Conclusion: Life’s Crunchy-Mushy Balance

Asher Perlman’s week is a reminder that life, much like a good snack, is best enjoyed when you embrace both the crunchy and mushy moments. Whether it’s navigating the unexpected twist of a quarantine or indulging in your favorite milk-fueled routine, there’s humor, joy, and a story to be found in every bite.